"Persistence wears down resistance" but at what cost?

This morning a tweeting wander across my Twitter home screen looking something like this:

PaulCarterJr @Mike_Wesely #QUOTE "Persistence wears down resistence" ~ K. Sparks

I retweeted it asking the question "but at what cost? " and this started a dialog between me and @Mike_Weseley about the costs, and it has inspired me to write this post

I expect "K Sparks", whoever that is, was trying to be encouraging to the downtrodden to not give up. That's an admirable sentiment in a situation in which the downtrodden would like to be victorious at all costs.

However, if the downtrodden would like to be victorious while still have a relationship with their opponent, they must be mindful of what their persistence costs their relationship. There are many contexts in which someone doesn't really care about their opponent or about the state of their relationshp after the conflict. In that circumstance, persistence perhaps force and perhaps violence are appropriate methods of achieving the outcome.

A partner's persistence to a point of view or chosen action can create resentment or be perceived as abuse. While the resistor may acquiesce, they may well bear ill-will toward the persistent one.

Even in a business setting, persistence can be viewed as insubordination.

Consider the battle between Water and the Rock. Eventually, perhaps over many years, the Water's persistence wears down the Rock's resistance, leaving the Rock worn slick or torn to pieces.

I'm not saying don't be persistent. I'm saying be mindful how you use it and what outcomes you want in the end.

Happy Mother's Day!

I spent my morning sitting on my patio out front, drinking coffee and enjoying my flowers. The calla lilies shown on the right were part of my mother's day present from my kids.

I have to sit out front because my deck (which is 14 feet off the ground) is slated for demolition and reconstruction and has been deemed by the family engineer (my husband) to be structurally unsafe.

Later my morning filled with fresh baked blueberry muffins, cards, hugs, kisses and presents. I also got iTunes gift cards, a lovely rose bush (which I'm about to go plant) and a new lilac bush. Life is good.

Happy Mother's Day all you mommies out there! I hope your day is as wonderful as mine as been so far.

Going to World Premiere of "The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler"

I've been invited to go to LA to attend the world premiere of the next Hallmark Hall of Fame movie "The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler"!!  Here's a link to the movie details on the Internet Movie Database.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1010278/

It stars: 

• Anna Paquin - Best Supporting Actress Oscar Winner in 1993 (at age 11) for The Piano (Just as an aside - Holly Hunter won best actress that same year for the same movie)
• Marcia Gay Harden - Best Supporting Actress Oscar Winner in 2001 for Pollock (She was also nominated for her role in Mystic River in 2004 but didn't win) 
• Goran Visnjic - plays hottie Dr. Luka Kovac from "ER"
• Paul Freeman

It's based on a true story of a Polish woman who saved 2500 Jewish children during World War II.  It looks like a great story.

I understand that this event is a bit more low key than what outsiders think of as a Hollywood movie premiere, but as my good friend Barb says "It's an excuse for new outfit, a manicure and a massage." 

It's all happening on April 13.   I'll write all about it when I get back.  I can't wait!

Getting ready for the Oscars!

Hooray for Hollywood!  

Ok... I don't know that it's "hooray" exactly, but I do love to watch the glam. of the Oscar night festivities.    In prep for the Oscars, one must of course have:

•  the nominees and the categories
  
• ballots for you and friends to cast their votes while munching food and sipping wine
  
• and a summary of the movies in the top categories (see below)
• wine and food
• 106" screen on which to project all the Red Carpet and Award night action.

Here are a quick summary of some of the top nominated movies (courtesy of the summaries at Oscar.com that I had to painful to find, cut and paste here)  Please see oscar.com for a more complete list of nominated films and details for each.

Enjoy!

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

 

Benjamin Button's life begins at the close of World War I, when he is born with the body of an old man. As the years pass, however, Benjamin discovers that he is gradually becoming younger even as he grows older in experience and wisdom--a situation that informs his relationship with the lovely Daisy, who reenters his life periodically as they grow closer together in physical age.

 

FROST/NIXON

 

Following his 1974 resignation, Richard Nixon withdraws from public life until talk show host David Frost persuades him--with the help of a sizeable payment--to participate in a series of television interviews.  For Frost, the much-anticipated event offers a chance to establish himself as a serious journalist, while the disgraced former president regards the interviews as an opportunity to reestablish himself on the political stage.

 

MILK

As the emerging Gay Pride movement gathers force in the 1970s, it finds a champion and a public face in San Francisco camera store owner Harvey Milk.  Leaving his closeted life in New York behind, Milk moves to California with his lover and soon turns his efforts to politics, campaigning for a spot on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors--a quest that will make him the country's first openly gay man to be elected to public office.

 

THE READER

In late 1950s Germany, fifteen-year-old Michael Berg begins an affair with Hanna, a woman in her mid-thirties. Hanna's past contains a dark secret, however, the revelation of which, in the decades following the period of his first experience with love, will both shock Michael and force him to confront his country's history.

 

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

 

An eighteen-year-old from the slums of Mumbai finds himself competing on the game show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire," where the questions he must answer offer a look back at his earlier life. The show's host, however, insists that he must be cheating and takes steps to force young Jamal to admit that a boy from such an impoverished background could not possibly possess the knowledge necessary to win the show's top prize.

 

CHANGELING

When single mother Christine Collins's ten-year-old son, Walter, disappears, she finds herself at odds with the corrupt Los Angeles Police Department of the late 1920s, whose primary interest lies in preserving its own reputation. As the increasingly distraught Christine is subjected to brazen fraud and mistreatment by the police, she finds an ally in radio televangelist Gustav Briegleb.

 

THE DARK KNIGHT

 

Gotham City appears to be heading toward a relatively crime-free future, because of the efforts of Batman, District Attorney Harvey Dent, and Lieutenant Jim Gordon, and Bruce Wayne hopes he will soon be able to abandon his secret identity. The arrival of the terrifying Joker, however, whose actions are motivated solely by his desire to outwit the Caped Crusader, forces Wayne to continue in his role as the city's best hope against the powers of evil.

 

DOUBT

The arrival of a progressive priest at a Bronx Catholic school in 1964 leads to a confrontation with the tradition-minded nun who serves as its principal. When Sister Aloysius suspects that Father Flynn may be taking an excessive interest in the school's first African-American student, she responds with a headstrong determination that is either a necessary defense of an abused boy or a heedless condemnation of an innocent man.

 

RACHEL GETTING MARRIED

Following her most recent stay in rehab, recovering addict Kym arrives at her family's home for her sister Rachel's upcoming wedding. Troubled and self-absorbed, Kym upsets the wedding plans with her constant need to focus attention on her own problems, sparking the emergence of the family's barely concealed tensions in the days leading up to the ceremony.

 

REVOLUTIONARY ROAD 

Frank and April Wheeler live a life of suburban plenty that seems on its surface to represent the essence of the post-World War II American dream. In reality, however, the pair are haunted by the thought that they have betrayed their youthful dreams and are trapped in a conventional lifestyle that falls far short of the more bohemian existence they had imagined for themselves.

 

VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA

When American friends Vicky and Cristina meet a charismatic Spanish artist while staying in Barcelona, they agree to fly with him to Oviedo, where Cristina and Juan Antonio begin an affair and the soon-to-be-married Vicky wonders if she has chosen the right future. Their romantic idyll takes a dramatic turn, however, with the arrival of Maria Elena, the painter's tempestuous ex-wife.

 

Are children's carseats really necessary?

Tonight I watched an interesting TED video featuring economist and author of one of my favorite read "Freakonomics",  Steven Levitt, asking "Are children's carseats necessary?" http://tinyurl.com/4tdhtw

Being the mother of three kids, the oldest of whom is 11, I've used car seats a fair bit.  Best Beloved and I have even discussed whether or not 7 year-old Krash needs to be in a booster of some kind still.  He's only 63 lbs but he's a whopping 4'8", plenty tall enough not to strangle in a regular seat belt especially when he's sitting in the very back seat of my Honda Odessey which rides a little higher than the regular seat.  

Princess Pink, now 4 and 38 lbs, rides in a booster with a 5 point restraint but after watching this video, I wish my van had the integrated booster seat that some other vans have.

I guess I will breath a little easier knowing that he numbers are in Krash's favor (he thinks he's way too big and too old to be seen riding around in a booster).

What do you think?

I am such a lame blogger!

Oh, man!  There's a lot to learn about making an interesting blog...  I visited Lizze's site "Cheerio Confessions" and I am humbled.  I just don't think I devote enough time to this little endeavor.  OK so I work as a middle manager in a large company, try to keep up with the activities of three young kids, tweet 5.6 times per day (per MrTweet), blog once a week, and have a social life too.

This site is so bland!!   I'm clearly falling down on the job!    

New commitment mythical, readers!  I will attempt to put some better content and eye candy out here.

Loss for words over co-worker's loss of baby.

 I say I'm at a  loss for words over my co-worker's loss of her baby today.  Actually I feel like I need to write about this because I just don't know what to do with the sadness.

Ana is a thirty-something woman I work with, who had a relatively uneventful pregnancy.  Her baby was due last Thursday and the doctor decided that if the baby wasn't born naturally by today, then she would have labor induced.  Ana and baby had a stress test yesterday in which the medical personnel check the baby's heart beat and the number kicks by the baby, etc. to make sure that everything was OK.  They also checked to be sure Ana was doing OK.  All was well and the labor induction was scheduled for today.

Ana had left a list of over 70 co-workers who were to be notified with all the specifics about the baby when the day's activities were closed.  Her manager, a thirty-something father of two very young children, had agreed to send what was expected to be the happy news about weights and measures.  Instead, he has the unhappy task of notifying the 70+ folks who were waiting for news from Ana that this morning the doctor found the baby had no heartbeat.    

A life ---  who is has been growing and thriving for 10 months, who was much anticipated by many, who was fine yesterday by all metrics available outside the womb --  is gone just like that.

When I heard the news, I was so sad I couldn't catch my breath for a moment. 

My heart goes out to Ana and her family.  I wish I could help syphon away the overwhelming pain and sadness she must be experiencing right now.